Much has to be sacrificed.

Letting go of something important to you is really one of the hardest things to do. But knowing that its what will please God, it will be worth it.

Much has to be sacrificed in order for greater things to come in. 

I bet this is one of the things God is dealing with me for the past week. God is telling me to let go of some things. So to speak, I just had another Isaac moment. 

I must admit, God has been telling me about this long time ago but I am too hardheaded. I tried to act as if everything's okay. I keep on telling myself we're on the safe zone, maybe because I think we're not seeing each other anymore. But I realized that its more than that. Being emotionally attached to someone when its not yet the right time. Its still not good. I remembered the status of my friend before. 

Wala ngang commitment, pero may attachment naman. 

It really struck me. And so last week I made a decision, to cut off our communications. I know that by saying those words, it means more. It also calls for us to really cut off our relationship with each other. It was really a leap of faith on my side. Yes, it is going to be hard, especially for the coming months and years. But its what God wants me to do, and so here I am, obeying His word. 

I know some of you will not understand why I did this decision. When everything seems to be okay, people may ask me what made me cut off my communication with him? Actually there's really nothing wrong. We're not even seeing each other anymore, but its all about conviction- my convictions. My leader once told this, 

Mahirap na tumanggi lalo na kapag wala nama kayong ginagawang masama.

But its more than that. Its not a battle of good or bad anymore. Its a battle between wise and unwise. And in my case, I believe its a wise yet painful decision. Its also one way of protecting myself (and his' too!).

God doesn't asks us to let go of things because He wants us to feel empty. He wants us to release these things because He is just preparing us for the greater things He have planned for us. Let go and let God. 

Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe- and you're ready. (Song of Solomon 8:4 MSG)

Be strong.

 Last Sunday I got news from a friend. He told me that he was leaving the country soon. The moment I read that text message I really wanted to cry, but I just can't because I'm out with my family. So I tried to hold back my tears and pretend that I'm just fine.

When we arrived home, I was able to talk to him again. The conversation went good. No tears, no sad thoughts. We tried to lighten up the conversation. He even said that we should just laugh because that's all we can do now. So that night went well. I was able to talk to him just like the old times, we had random conversations, sharing random and funny things, typical kulitan, but of course, guarded. My twin's definitely back.

The next day, I felt like everything is still normal not until the moment when I was praying for him. Suddenly tears roll down. I can't help but to cry while praying. Asking God to give me a strong heart so I'll be able to endure this pain.

I really don't know what will happen for the coming months. I want to spend time with him while we can. But of course, I can't just decide on my own. I can't be just easily carried away with my emotions. I need God's direction. I'm praying to God to give us the chance to bond before he leaves.

Parting ways is one of the things that I don't like. But what else can I do? I can't just cry everyday and make my life miserable because he's leaving soon. I need to accept the truth. I know God has a higher purpose why he let things happen this way. I just need to hold on to His promise.

Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good.  (Philemon 1:15)

Life goes on. I need to be strong.

Let go, and let God.

I wanted to say I miss you, but I’m trying not to care. I wanted to tell you that I still love you, but I’m trying not to show. I know it's not yet the right time for us. We're still young, and we still have a lot of things to learn in life.


So here I am, letting go of this feelings for you. Trying not to think of you anymore and just stay focused to God. Its hard, yes, temptations are around. But I know through God's grace I can do it.


I'm letting you go, and let God write the best love story for me.