Much has to be sacrificed.

Letting go of something important to you is really one of the hardest things to do. But knowing that its what will please God, it will be worth it.

Much has to be sacrificed in order for greater things to come in. 

I bet this is one of the things God is dealing with me for the past week. God is telling me to let go of some things. So to speak, I just had another Isaac moment. 

I must admit, God has been telling me about this long time ago but I am too hardheaded. I tried to act as if everything's okay. I keep on telling myself we're on the safe zone, maybe because I think we're not seeing each other anymore. But I realized that its more than that. Being emotionally attached to someone when its not yet the right time. Its still not good. I remembered the status of my friend before. 

Wala ngang commitment, pero may attachment naman. 

It really struck me. And so last week I made a decision, to cut off our communications. I know that by saying those words, it means more. It also calls for us to really cut off our relationship with each other. It was really a leap of faith on my side. Yes, it is going to be hard, especially for the coming months and years. But its what God wants me to do, and so here I am, obeying His word. 

I know some of you will not understand why I did this decision. When everything seems to be okay, people may ask me what made me cut off my communication with him? Actually there's really nothing wrong. We're not even seeing each other anymore, but its all about conviction- my convictions. My leader once told this, 

Mahirap na tumanggi lalo na kapag wala nama kayong ginagawang masama.

But its more than that. Its not a battle of good or bad anymore. Its a battle between wise and unwise. And in my case, I believe its a wise yet painful decision. Its also one way of protecting myself (and his' too!).

God doesn't asks us to let go of things because He wants us to feel empty. He wants us to release these things because He is just preparing us for the greater things He have planned for us. Let go and let God. 

Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe- and you're ready. (Song of Solomon 8:4 MSG)

Truth is.

Even though I say to some of my friends that past is past, I know deep within me that I am still affected. I know I still have feelings. But of course, things are different now. I can't just simply pour out all my emotions just like before. I can, but I won't do that again. I still have a feeling for you, but I know its not yet the right time.

Story of Obedience

The story of Abraham and Isaac is really my favorite story of all.

Abraham's greatest test of obedience to God involved Isaac.

He said, "Take your dear son Isaac whom you love and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on the mountains that I'll point out to you. " Genesis 22:2

Take your dear son Isaac whom you love..

Here, it emphasizes how Abraham value Isaac. Isaac was the only son of Abraham and Sarah.
He loves his son so much.

But God asked him to sacrifice him as a burnt offering.
As I looked for the meaning of burnt offering I saw this entry.

 These offerings signified the complete dedication of the offerers unto God. (http://christiananswers.net/dictionary/burntoffering.html)

Isn't hard to offer something that is valuable to us? How much more with Abraham, its his' son, his only beloved son.

But we can see how Abraham responded to this in the following verses (v. 3-10) He got up early the next morning and went to the mountain where God instructed him to go. With no hesitation he did what God asked him to do no matter what the cost is. And just as Abraham was about to kill his son an angel came and commanded Abraham not to lay a hand on the boy (v.12). After that he saw a ram and he took it and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. (v.13). And in the following verse, we can see how God blessed Abraham because of his obedience to him. This is the start of the many blessings that he had received in his life.


Who's your Isaac?

In life, there are some things that we value so much. May it be a relationship that we have, or the position we have in school. Anything that is valuable to us. But what if God asks us to surrender it to him? I know its hard to give up something that we really value, especially when it comes to relationships. Its heart-breaking. Its hard to let go. But when we allow God to move in our life, we can actually do it. We can actually do what Abraham was able to do.

To obey is better than sacrifice. 1 Samuel 15:22

Its a matter of lordship in us. Who's actually the Lord of our life? Who do we really value? These things or God?

Now the question is who's your Isaac? That person, or maybe a thing, that is important to you but is actually the same person (or thing) that God is telling you to surrender to Him? How will you respond?

I pray that we will act like that of Abraham. With no hesitation, we will follow God. And just as God blessed Abraham because of his obedience to him, we too will  be blessed when we obey God.

Trust God and His timing.

While I'm on my vacation I had this sudden realization. So here goes my quick short blog! :) 

The more I let go of you, the more God is leading me back again to you.
The more I cut off my connection to you, the more fate is making opportunities for us to reconnect.
I guess this is what you call destiny.
And I believe that if I let God write my love story,
I will have the best love story, with you.
I just have to wait for the right time.
Be patient. Trust God and His timing. :)

It only reminds me of you.

While browsing my Design Your Life 2011 planner there's a sudden flashback of memories, memories of you and me. Then I saw this post I had last May 2011:

I want to hug you right now. Sit next to you and talk to you about anything and everything under the sun. I want to erase all the bad experiences you had before and  replace it with good ones. I wanna be the smile you put on your face. I just want to be next to you now. That's how badly I miss you. If you only knew.

Indeed my planner has many memories of you. Every page of it has a story to tell.

Be strong.

 Last Sunday I got news from a friend. He told me that he was leaving the country soon. The moment I read that text message I really wanted to cry, but I just can't because I'm out with my family. So I tried to hold back my tears and pretend that I'm just fine.

When we arrived home, I was able to talk to him again. The conversation went good. No tears, no sad thoughts. We tried to lighten up the conversation. He even said that we should just laugh because that's all we can do now. So that night went well. I was able to talk to him just like the old times, we had random conversations, sharing random and funny things, typical kulitan, but of course, guarded. My twin's definitely back.

The next day, I felt like everything is still normal not until the moment when I was praying for him. Suddenly tears roll down. I can't help but to cry while praying. Asking God to give me a strong heart so I'll be able to endure this pain.

I really don't know what will happen for the coming months. I want to spend time with him while we can. But of course, I can't just decide on my own. I can't be just easily carried away with my emotions. I need God's direction. I'm praying to God to give us the chance to bond before he leaves.

Parting ways is one of the things that I don't like. But what else can I do? I can't just cry everyday and make my life miserable because he's leaving soon. I need to accept the truth. I know God has a higher purpose why he let things happen this way. I just need to hold on to His promise.

Perhaps the reason he was separated from you for a little while was that you might have him back for good.  (Philemon 1:15)

Life goes on. I need to be strong.

Let go, and let God.

I wanted to say I miss you, but I’m trying not to care. I wanted to tell you that I still love you, but I’m trying not to show. I know it's not yet the right time for us. We're still young, and we still have a lot of things to learn in life.


So here I am, letting go of this feelings for you. Trying not to think of you anymore and just stay focused to God. Its hard, yes, temptations are around. But I know through God's grace I can do it.


I'm letting you go, and let God write the best love story for me.

Yes, I still miss you..

I miss the times when we used to talk almost everyday-updating each other, and simply just talking about anything we want to. I miss those nights you used to call me and sing me your favorite songs. I miss those dinners we used to have. I miss hanging out with you. Yes, I still miss you but I don't feel anything anymore. 

I remembered this line from a show before:

Don't let your emotions overrule you.

From the past weeks, I learned how to manage my emotions.. I was able to adjust to this new setup. I overcome those days and weeks without talking to you, not even thinking of you at night. lol.

Yes, I still miss you but I don't feel anything anymore. I am okay and I like what we have. We're friends, but not the talking-everyday-friends anymore. I will always treasure what we have, but for the meantime, let's just enjoy this season we're in. Love has its own time.