All or nothing.

Have you experienced having a relationship with someone and all of a sudden you feel like God is asking you to give it up? Maybe you're asking God why. Why do we have to face these things. But I believe God is just protecting us, especially girls, from heartaches of  love at the wrong time.

If you feel like its not yet the right time, KILL it for the meantime. If its really GOD'S WILL and PLAN, He will bring it back to LIFE in His own PERFECT TIME.

When we look in the dictionary, kill means to put to death, to put an END. And so, it calls us to end this relationship especially when you feel like its not yet the right time. End, and not just pause. Its two different things.

Ending something means to come to a conclusion- a final judgement. While pause only means a temporary inaction especially as caused by uncertainty, a temporary stop.

But being a follower of Christ, its an ALL OR NOTHING. Applying this, God calls us to STOP and not just to PAUSE what we are doing. He wants us to cut off everything that is not according to His will. 

Yes, I know it is hard but through God's grace nothing is impossible. We can overcome all these because it is written, we are more than conquerors. 

After all, true love can wait. One of the sweetest love story we can see in the Bible is the love story of Jacob and Rachel. 

So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her. (Genesis 29:20)

Much has to be sacrificed.

Letting go of something important to you is really one of the hardest things to do. But knowing that its what will please God, it will be worth it.

Much has to be sacrificed in order for greater things to come in. 

I bet this is one of the things God is dealing with me for the past week. God is telling me to let go of some things. So to speak, I just had another Isaac moment. 

I must admit, God has been telling me about this long time ago but I am too hardheaded. I tried to act as if everything's okay. I keep on telling myself we're on the safe zone, maybe because I think we're not seeing each other anymore. But I realized that its more than that. Being emotionally attached to someone when its not yet the right time. Its still not good. I remembered the status of my friend before. 

Wala ngang commitment, pero may attachment naman. 

It really struck me. And so last week I made a decision, to cut off our communications. I know that by saying those words, it means more. It also calls for us to really cut off our relationship with each other. It was really a leap of faith on my side. Yes, it is going to be hard, especially for the coming months and years. But its what God wants me to do, and so here I am, obeying His word. 

I know some of you will not understand why I did this decision. When everything seems to be okay, people may ask me what made me cut off my communication with him? Actually there's really nothing wrong. We're not even seeing each other anymore, but its all about conviction- my convictions. My leader once told this, 

Mahirap na tumanggi lalo na kapag wala nama kayong ginagawang masama.

But its more than that. Its not a battle of good or bad anymore. Its a battle between wise and unwise. And in my case, I believe its a wise yet painful decision. Its also one way of protecting myself (and his' too!).

God doesn't asks us to let go of things because He wants us to feel empty. He wants us to release these things because He is just preparing us for the greater things He have planned for us. Let go and let God. 

Don't excite love, don't stir it up, until the time is ripe- and you're ready. (Song of Solomon 8:4 MSG)

Confirmed & Affirmed.

My dream of being prophesied had finally came true. So there you go, I wanted to share to you guys the things they told me there.


For this blog's sake, I will put into 3 categories all the prophecies they had for me.

1. Personal
2. As a student
3. Ministry

Most of the prophecies about ministry. ;) 


First, about my family and finances.


God has heard all my cries. And he assured me that He is going to be the one who will restore all the broken pieces. I was reminded of Acts 16:31"Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved- you and your household." I am still holding on to this promise. I know that as I work for the advancement of God's kingdom in my campus, He is also at work on my very own family. 


I am also claiming for financial breakthroughs and God assured me again that He is in control of it. Provisions will come along the way. All the papers and expenses needed to be paid before I leave the campus, its all done. God has already made a way for it.


As I continue to become a blessing to other people, God will also pour out blessings into my life. I don't have to be afraid for he has placed so much favor in every areas of my life. 


Student life.


They talked about my position as the Vice Chairperson of AMV COMELEC. They told me that I have a very influential position, and that negative things, accusations will be thrown against me. But I don't have to be afraid because God will fight for me. He is my shield, my defender.


Finally, the highlight of my prophecy. MINISTRY.

"You've been asking for confirmations. You've been asking for signs.. But remember that as you continue to seek me, as you continue to dwell in my presence, as you continue to put me on top of everything, I will bring clarity into your mind." 

When they told me about this I can't help but to cry and laugh at the same time. Why? Because its really true. The words are really exact. I've been asking for confirmations, long long long time ago pa. I've been asking for a Word too. And just this month I had a word. 

Psalm 51:13 MSG Give me a job teaching the rebels your ways so the lost can find their way home. 

I am still praying for this one. Really. So friends please include me in your prayers, I still have one year to go. I still need more confirmations and words. :) 


In line with the above verse is the next prophecy to me. They told me that I'll speak to more women, either casual or deliberate, I will teach them God's ways. Its not my skills nor my talents that I'll use, but its God's word that I'll use to teach them. 


Guess what? I also remembered some of my dreams before. Dreams of talking in front of many people. Plus, I can also remember this dream I had, me and Kuya Francis (one of the Lifebox staff) is studying the bible. Its like he's mentoring me. Something like that. I believe its in line with this. Hehe.  They also told me that God will send people who will speak to me to bring clarity to that calling. People who will also enlighten me.


Plus, they told me as I respond to that calling, I will be satisfied. God will satisfy me in and out. Its not something na "Lord, I'll sacrifice my life, my dreams for this." No its not going to be like that. And there's only one thing in my mind when they told me about this, and that's going full time. Haha! 


They also told me to surround myself with godly women. Women who will push me to the calling God has for me. Women who will push me to be the best woman I can be. And its really funny because after all the things that happened to me for the past month, this is actually one of my prayers. To have deeper relationships with women, most especially to my deepbench family. 

"You've been proven faithful with the small things. Now is the time, God is entrusting you with bigger things." 

Its not only about material things, nor position in school, but even in ministry. God will entrust bigger things, but do not be afraid, nor be scared. God has equipped you, He has called you in the right timing. Its not about my skills, nor my talents; its all about God's anointing. 


Lastly, they also talked about my availability. Its like, 

"I don't know what to do, but here I am." 

Actually it has always been my prayer. For God to use me. I have been crying out this to Him. God can use so many people out there, but here I am pleading for Him to choose me, to be part of his plans. And I was assured that God has chosen me.. He has chosen me to make a difference in this generation. 


I was really comforted with all the words they told me there. All I can do is cry while they prophecy to me. :") My mind is now clearer than before. I don't need to rush things. I am going to be patient and wait until God fully reveal to me his plans for my life. For now, I will just enjoy my season- student life. And lets see for the coming years what will happen. ;)  

Last OMF Literature Book Sale.

So we were able to buy 49 books for a price of 1100php only. We saved almost 10K. Amazing isn't? :)

And from the 49 books, I got 8 for a price of only 110php. Two of those books I gave to my friends, and the remaining 6 is now on my shelf. Waiting to be read. ;)

Hopefully I could finish even just half of them by the end of the year. I'm not really into reading books. But I find these books interesting. Hmm. 

I am smiling. ☺

I tried not to care anymore, I tried not to show my emotions to you… but at the end of the day, I still think of you and how we used to be. I think of what the future may be. And I can't help but to think of the fact that you’re leaving soon… And it really hurts. 

I’m too tired of crying. In fact, there’s no more tears flowing in my eyes, but the pain in my heart? I can still feel it. Every time I think of that day, my heart pounds, I feel so weak. 

I try not to talk to you about this and just pretend that I am okay, but deep inside I really don’t want you to leave. As much as I want to spend time with you, I just can’t. We’re too busy with our own lives, with our responsibilities, with our works. 

I just pray and ask to God that someday when we’re already ready, He will make a way to lead us back to each other’s arms. Sorry if you feel like I don’t care for you anymore. Actually, I do. I really do, but I try not to show it anymore because I don’t want you to feel the pain I am feeling.


I am smiling, but inside I am dying. 

True friends correct.

Last night I saw a note made by my friend. Actually she's very special and close to me, not until that confrontation happened.

It was around September (I guess) since that incident happened. The words I said to her. Her guilty look. That intense feeling I had. Yes, I can still remember everything. That night was probably one of the most unforgettable nights I ever had with her. 

We had this little argument over a guy. Yes, a guy. Honestly, I really don't like that guy for her. I confronted her because I was just concern for her. After that confrontation we both asked for forgiveness. We both know that we have hurt each others. I even repented because I knew that I also made something wrong. Yes, I know I'm on the right standing, but I let my emotions overrule me. Knowing me, I really have a strong personality especially when fighting over a thing that I know is right. Maybe that frightened her.

Anyways, its been months now since that happened. And during those months, we haven't talked again. I can feel that she have already set a wall against us, her friends. Maybe that's the effect of that confrontation.  

And last night, I saw this note she made. Even though we're not tagged there, I know it has something to do with us. So I opened it. She explained her side, I got her point. Yes. And I must say I was hurt after reading that. I even asked my friends if I am a bad friend. Seriously, I tweeted that because after reading her note I felt like I am a bad friend to her. Of course I got a lot of sweet and cheesy answers from my friends, but this one really touched my heart.

Hindi. You're one of the best friends na nakilala ko. You even confronted me when there is something wrong in my attitude.

 Jeff, one of my best friends this college, told me this. I believe what he says because knowing this guy, hindi ito cheesy, so totoo talaga mga sinasabi niya sa akin.

I can be one of your sweetest friends ever. But I'm the type of friend who will not tolerate your wrongdoings.

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Proverbs 27:17

I can be your loving sister, but I can also be someone who'll discipline you.

Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Proverbs 27:5

I will set my standards as high as that of God's. And I will not compromise. No, not even to my closest friends. As the popular saying goes,

True friends correct you when you're wrong. 

And I am really sorry for the things that I said that night. But if given a chance to turn back time, I think I will do it again. Yes, I know its heartbreaking. Its hard. But all for love, I will do it again for you.

I really miss her. They miss her. We miss her. And I am praying that one day we will be able to be with her again. I am praying that she'll really make a stand to follow what God is telling her to do.

Truth is.

Even though I say to some of my friends that past is past, I know deep within me that I am still affected. I know I still have feelings. But of course, things are different now. I can't just simply pour out all my emotions just like before. I can, but I won't do that again. I still have a feeling for you, but I know its not yet the right time.

A must know skill.

Sewing. It has been one of the skills that I really wanted to master (of course, aside from cooking!). Yes, I know a little bit of sewing. I can even repair my own clothes just like what I did to that shirt on the right. This shirt is really big for a petite girl like me so I end up repairing it. Its the second shirt that I repaired (the first was my Purple Love shirt).

For me, sewing is one of the skills that a woman should master. Its part of womanhood. That's how I can see it.

Maybe this thinking was influenced by my mom. I must say that my mom is really good in sewing. She even worked in a garments factory before. During my childhood days, she made some dresses for me, she even made some bags. And I really find it sweet. Maybe that's the reason why I really wanted to master this thing. Because I also want my future children experience that sweet feeling I felt during those times when my mom makes clothes for me. Designing clothes for your kids and making them on your own, I find it a sweet thing a mom can give her kids.

If given a chance I would really love to enroll in a class about sewing and fashion designs. Actually when I was a kid, I thought of becoming a fashion designer. I really want to learn how to make dresses, I wanna design gowns. There is joy in me when designing gowns.

Indeed, it is really one of the things that completes a woman. For me it is really part of my womanhood, and I really hope to master this thing. ☺

Story of Obedience

The story of Abraham and Isaac is really my favorite story of all.

Abraham's greatest test of obedience to God involved Isaac.

He said, "Take your dear son Isaac whom you love and go to the land of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on the mountains that I'll point out to you. " Genesis 22:2

Take your dear son Isaac whom you love..

Here, it emphasizes how Abraham value Isaac. Isaac was the only son of Abraham and Sarah.
He loves his son so much.

But God asked him to sacrifice him as a burnt offering.
As I looked for the meaning of burnt offering I saw this entry.

 These offerings signified the complete dedication of the offerers unto God. (http://christiananswers.net/dictionary/burntoffering.html)

Isn't hard to offer something that is valuable to us? How much more with Abraham, its his' son, his only beloved son.

But we can see how Abraham responded to this in the following verses (v. 3-10) He got up early the next morning and went to the mountain where God instructed him to go. With no hesitation he did what God asked him to do no matter what the cost is. And just as Abraham was about to kill his son an angel came and commanded Abraham not to lay a hand on the boy (v.12). After that he saw a ram and he took it and sacrificed it as a burnt offering instead of his son. (v.13). And in the following verse, we can see how God blessed Abraham because of his obedience to him. This is the start of the many blessings that he had received in his life.


Who's your Isaac?

In life, there are some things that we value so much. May it be a relationship that we have, or the position we have in school. Anything that is valuable to us. But what if God asks us to surrender it to him? I know its hard to give up something that we really value, especially when it comes to relationships. Its heart-breaking. Its hard to let go. But when we allow God to move in our life, we can actually do it. We can actually do what Abraham was able to do.

To obey is better than sacrifice. 1 Samuel 15:22

Its a matter of lordship in us. Who's actually the Lord of our life? Who do we really value? These things or God?

Now the question is who's your Isaac? That person, or maybe a thing, that is important to you but is actually the same person (or thing) that God is telling you to surrender to Him? How will you respond?

I pray that we will act like that of Abraham. With no hesitation, we will follow God. And just as God blessed Abraham because of his obedience to him, we too will  be blessed when we obey God.

Ilonggo by heart.

La Paz Batchoy. This will always be one of my favorite food of all. Sarap!

One of my favorite pasalubong! Ube piaya. ♥

Fact: Chicken Inasal is one of the all-time favorite foods in Bacolod. 

Bought some pasalubongs for my friends. Hi mini maskara! 

I hope I can really go back in Bacolod for the Maskara festival in October. 

My auntie bought me this baller after being depressed because there's no Island Souvenir shop in Bacolod. I have the sweetest relatives ever! Thanks Nanay for this. :"> 

Nature trip it is!

May 13, 2012. That's Mother's Day, and we had a mini-family reunion. Hello family outing!

Mambukal Mountain here we go! ☺

Gicaro-Sepida clan. Having a big family is ♥♥♥

Hello cousins! ☺

(L-R) Ina, Chin, Tine. Hello to my pretty cousins! ♥

On our way to the falls. Trekking here we go!

After an hour (I guess) of trekking, finally we reached our destination! The 7th falls. Love the cold water. 

The traveler's feet. Lol. The effect of trekking while its raining. Ah, its really fun! 

I may not look good in this picture but I'm really proud of this. Taken after our trekking. I'm so tired but I really had a good time. Bonding with cousins and with mother nature. I hope to have more nature trips like this! This is what you call ADVENTURE. Ha ha ha.

City of Smiles. ☺

Random shots taken in Bacolod. ☺

I really love the sky in Bacolod. Look at those fluffy clouds. ☺

Take time to appreciate nature.

View from the pier. Love the sky. 

I really love passing by that place. Look at the four pictures. God's word is everywhere. 

One thing that you should know about Bacolod is that their "Jeeps" are different from that we know in here in Manila. There's no Sarao Jeeps there. By the way, I love Bacolod's Jeep than that of Sarao. ;-)

 Spotted! While strolling on one of the malls in Bacolod I saw this. Too bad its closed when I saw this. Praying for Victory Bacolod's growth. ☺

Update

I'll start blogging about my previous vacation. Last May 10, mom and I went to Bacolod. After how many years finally I was able to go back here again. I miss this place, the people, and of course the food. ☺

The next blog posts will be about my travel. Sorry late update. I've been busy for the past days e. One day after we arrived home, I went out again for our leadership training seminar in Tanay. So there you go.

Sweets from my sweet friends.

I've been craving for sweets for weeks already.
My taste buds keep on telling me to eat something sweet, chocolates to be specific. 

And yesterday, the long wait is over. I received a bag of Maltesers from my dear friend (Aden). Its his pasalubong to me from Riyadh. And in exchange I gave him a pack of piaya. Maltesers is really my favorite of all! ☺

And before I leave I received a box of Almond chocoballs from my dear bunso (Jacob). By the way, I also love chocolates with nuts, like that of almonds. ☺

Hooray! I'm the happiest kid in town. Lots of sweets for me this weekend. 

Thank you Aden & Jacob! ☺

Insights from LTS.

I am really thankful to be part of Central COMELEC's LTS. I learned a lot of things from that 2-day seminar. Here are some of my notes from our LTS that I want to share to you. :)

If you don't face your own failure, you will not grow.

Its not wrong to commit mistakes, whats wrong is when we do not acknowledge our mistakes and we don't act on it.

The Story of the Rabbit and the Turtle.

Its good to be individually brilliant and to have strong core competency . But unless you're able to work in a team and harness each others' core competency you'll always perform below par. 

Compete against the situation not against the rival. Hate sin. Love the sinner.

The Story of Mother Eagle.

We need to go out of our comfort zones in order to grow. 

Trust.

It is when you are trusted that you are given responsibility. The bigger responsibility people give you that means they have a big trust on you. 

Prove that you are trustworthy by your actions not just by mere words. Do not promise anything if you cannot do it.

The Story of the Other Son. (From the Story of the Prodigal Son)

We have a generous and loving Father. All we need to do is to ask to Him, and believe that it will be given to us. 

Most people don't ask help from God because they don't trust God. Why? Because they don't know His word. We need to study His word and start trusting in Him. 

Its more fun in COMELEC!

Another answered prayer! Last May 15, around 11pm, I received a last minute free invitation to the Central COMELEC's Leadership Training Seminar (LTS). Hooray! I've been praying for this since March. Thank you Lord for this! *u*

COMELEC: Becoming an Agent for Excellece in Leadership, Diversity and Inclusion.

We started our Day 2 in TYK. We had a series of activities there and Kuya Kaan (our speaker) gave a short talk. After that, around 11am, we went all the way to Bakasyunan (Tanay, Rizal) for the next series of activities.

Meet Alu. AMV COMELEC's Logistics officer. My buddy for this LTS.

The place is really a good venue for activities like our LTS.

But the not-so-good part only is that there's only a little signal, and sometimes no signal at all for Globe and Sun. :( But I see it as somewhat a good thing so that even for a day we will not think of the outside world, we'll be more focused on our LTS. :) 

I had new friends thanks to this LTS. Hello to Kristel (left, Chair of Architecture) and Jessie (Central Representative of EHS). Love these girls! :*

Baller band from Bakasyunan Resort! ☺

Our certificate. *Insert name here* LOL

While doing some stretching activities. 

Our beloved adviser, Sir Antonio Chua who's always game in every activity, even in levitation.

Team Cheetah-Eh! (L-R) Kuya Arwin (Civil

 Law Central Rep. & Central COMELEC's Legals), Jessie (EHS Central Rep.), Kath (AB Chairman & Primus), Francis (Nursing Chairman) Me, Sergie (Science Central Rep. & Central COMELEC's Operations), and Lotti (CFAD Charirman)

Thank you Lord for giving me another family in them. I hope to see more of them this coming school year. 

Its more fun in COMELEC! ☺ ♥